An Issue of Faith

You know when kids are super little, like 2, and they ask why about every little thing? And then they just stop at some point and start obeying and believing everything you tell them. I don’t know if it’s because they become afraid or lazy or just brainwashed, but they just stop. Most of them do anyway. Some never stop and they go on to do great things, but most people just give up and take whatever mom and dad say as law and stop thinking. It works for religion or politics or a lot of our culture and whatnot, we just kind of go along with things, sometimes for the rest of our lives if not until our 20’s or so. I remember believing in god and Catholicism because I had absolutely no doubt that my parents knew the answers. It wasn’t a matter of them lying to me or being malicious. It was that these were simple matters and they were just passing along the info. I love my parents, they were good people who adored me and would never want to hurt me. And I don’t think sharing their faith with me was an attempt at limiting my experience, but I do see how my blind obedience robbed me of a couple of decades of honesty with myself. But that wasn’t a fault, it was just me being afraid. I wanted to close my eyes and trust that whatever they lead me to was safe and secure because this world can be scary sometimes. Now that they have both passed on I still feel their love and I know their commitment to me was as strong as humanly possible. My change in perception about what is real and factual has not taken them away from me. It has only made things better. I believe in the here and now. And I trust in love, compassion and humility. My parents may have dressed these lessons in a religion I no longer need to use, but the value and integrity is still there, stronger than ever. I’m sorry if my “lack of religion” has offended any of you, but I’m not going to lie to make you feel comfortable. I love you. And if I could sit with my mother, the most Jesus-loving woman I have ever met, and be open and honest about my views of the world and still be seen as a good person in her eyes, I will never let anyone else make me feel inferior. You can pray for me. I believe in the power of prayer, because I believe in the power of asking for help. And I get a great comfort in asking for help, I ask you, you ask whomever, it’s very rewarding. I am not a cold person with ill intent. I just have my own point of view. If anyone wants to talk to me privately, I welcome that. But please, don’t feel as though I have judged you. I really do have room in my heart for everyone.


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