It’s Finally Time

I turned 42 in February. With even the most rosey of outlooks that’s middle aged at best. I had a conversation with my niece about two weeks ago and midstream she off handedly stated something that, at the time, upset me. But I thought long and hard about it later and realized the bittersweet truth about it. I’m 42 and here I am finally understanding who I was and what I was feeling back when I was 18 years old. Coming to terms with decisions made, constructs of my faith and character and of how I would judge those around; both those that I loved dearly and those that were merely bit players so that I might fit them all snugly into who and how I believed my world to be. With all of my conversing and writing and prayers, debates, arguments and negotiations I am just now taking my first step into the truth. 

I loved him. He was my first and my only. The one that mattered and changed me. And because I have never understood this till now you and I are pretty much going to be dealing with this for the first time together.  So let’s go back. It’s Doverton. 1993. And there is a blizzard making life hell for everyone but us….

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s