If I say, “I’ve lost my way,” I enjoy the way some people react. Not everyone though. I hate when people tell me that they will pray for me. It’s not that I don’t feel the love or care in those words. I understand that they have faith in a god and that they merely wish to share with me some of their warmth and kindness. They want to spread some salvation over me like butter over crispy toast. But I am not here to be saved. I am not in need of your miracle whip. I simply cannot see the path ahead. And that’s kind of what I like most about life; the not knowing and the finding out. When I tell you that I’ve lost my way I don’t mean to alarm you. I am only telling you so that you are prepared for my questions, my reactions, my probing and double takes.
When I tell you that I’ve lost my way I basically am giving you a heads up so that you can be ready for my curious nature. It settles over me from time to time and I look at the world with new eyes. It happens every so often and I become like a child again, looking at the world as if I’ve never seen it before and everything is fresh and bold. I breath in the air and welcome it’s brisk, vibrant crackle as it enters my lungs. I feel like everything attacks me at first and then, once I settle in, it takes over me and grabs hold; making sure that I never slip away.
I’ve lost my way many times throughout my life and each time it’s been a reward. I have learned how to see the path before me the way someone else other than myself might; someone with less than I , someone more fortunate. It’s taught me how to be compassionate, how to be forgiving, how to be that person who lends a hand instead of asking for one. I’ve lost my way and each time I’ve learned how to find my way back quicker, but sometimes I stay lost a little longer on purpose because now that I know where the road is I find that it’s not always about playing it safe. Sometimes there are more important things in life than being on time or being comfortable. Sometimes you can learn more from the man who has nothing than the one who has seemed to figure it all out. Sometimes you can find more opportunity when you have nothing to give than when you seem to have it all. And these are the things you come across when you have lost your way.
So when I say, “I’ve lost my way,” I enjoy the way some people react, but I hate when people tell me that they will pray for me. Mainly because it’s when I’ve lost my way that my prayers have been answered most.